Joke+of+the+Day


 * ﻿ Joke of the Day **

'Extra for Experts' homework task. Log in and add your joke of the day. If it is a joke with an answer, like a 'knock, knock' joke see if people can work it out and answer you at school so don't write the answer in.

Three women—a blond, a redhead, and a brunette—were running from the police because they had stolen some lip gloss from a make up store. They ran into a old country store to hide from the police. Each hid in a empty sack labeled “POTATOES”. When the police came in they saw the sacks. One policeman kicked the sack with the brunette in it. She said, “Woof!” so they believed it was a dog. Another policeman kicked the sack with the redhead in it. She said, “Meow!” so they believed it was a cat. The last policeman kicked the last sack with the blond in it. She yelled out, “Potatoes!”

by Connor Just as well your teacher is a red head then! Well done Connor for taking up the challenge. Remind me about points for your group tomorrow. :-)

What do you get if you cross an elephant with peanut butter?

What do Baloo the bear and Winnie the pooh have in common?

Did you hear about the crossed - eyed teacher? He couldn't control his pupils!

By Annabel

Clever Annabel - had to think about the teacher - nice double meaning! :-)

Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open?

What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?

What do you get when a Kangaroo jumps over a Sheep?

Why did Mama Flea look so sad?

Why would a man in jail want to catch the measles?

There was a man who was from India and had just immigrated to New Zealand and he could only say these three words, three fifty, sometimes yes sometimes no, if you dont someone else will. So one day a old man walkes into the store and wanted to buy a lawn mower and asked the man how much is this worth? three fiftey, is it worth it? sometimes yes sometimes no, what happens if i dont buy it? if you dont someone else will. The man took it home it was junk and threw it in the pit. The next day a boy walked into the store and saw a Nintendo DS oooh I want to buy this how much is this? he asked the man, three fiftey, is it worth it? sometimes yes sometimes no, what happens if I don't buy it? if you dont someone else will. The boy went home turned it on wouldn't work and threw it out. The next day a Robber walked in and said HOW MUCH IS BEHIND THAT COUNTER! three fiftey ARE YOU LYING TO ME MR. sometimes yes sometimes no, HOW ABOUT I SMASH THAT COUNTER IN YOUR FACE! if you dont someone else will.

By Katelyn

Haven't a clue! Can't wait to find out the answers. :-)

There were two horses in a paddock One horse said "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse." The other horse replied "moo."

Lucy

What do mexicans put under their carpet?

Two sausages were in a pan. One said "Gosh it's hot in here!" The other one said "Oh my god a talking sausage!"

"Docter! Docter! Nobody ever listens to me!" "Next!"

How many Elvises does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Why was the 22 year old happy she completed a jigsaw puzzle in 3 months?

Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. They saw a sign that said Disneyland left so they all screamed and went home!

Henry

We will have to have an answer session tomorrow. I can't work them out!

Why is the letter S so dangerous?
It turns lime into slime and makes cream scream

=BY Hamish=

Why was the broom late? Because it over swept!

How do you make a milk shake? Give it a good scare?

Do you have any invisible ink? Certainly sir what colour!

Why were you late ? Sorry, teacher, I overslept. You mean you need to sleep at home too !

By Grace

=﻿Will you remember me in a year?= =Will you remember me in a month?= =Will you remember me in a week?= =Will you remember me in a day?= =Kock kock who's there?= BY RICUS


 * Knock Knock! **
 * Who's There? **
 * Cargo **
 * Cargo who? **
 * Cargo Beep Beep! **


 * There were two monkeys getting in the bath one said ooh ooh ah ah and the other one said well put some cold in it **


 * Knock knock **
 * Who’s their? **
 * Ben **
 * Ben who? **
 * Ben waiting here all afternoon **

By Jessica

Stand on it
By Nataliya

by Matthew
 * What did the second earthquake say to the first earthquake?**
 * "It was your fault"**

by Matthew
 * There were two Indian's and one white man and they were off hiking, one indian said that if you whistle in a cave and you get a whistle back and you go in you get a wife, so the first indian found a cave, he whistled in, got one back, go's in, get's a wife, the second one found a cave, whistle's in, got one back, go's in, get's a wife. The white man found one, thought " this is my one chance to get a wife ", he whistle's in, got one back, go's in, and get's hit by a train!**

why did the skelton not go to the school ball ? Because he had noboady to go with ! By Maddie Love

There's three guys driving along named Shosh, Trouble and Poo. Poo jumps out of the car and trouble chases him. Shosh then speedily drives to the police station and says," My friends runaway". The police officer then asks," What's your name? "Shosh". " I'm being serious. What's your name?" "Shosh" "Last chance. What's your name?" "SHOSH!" "Are you looking for trouble?" "No, troubles looking for poo!"

By Hunter

<span style="font-family: Impact,Charcoal,sans-serif; font-size: 130%;">patient: Docter Docter I've only got 59 seconds to live!

<span style="font-family: Impact,Charcoal,sans-serif; font-size: 130%;">Docter: Just wait a minute

=**Patient: Docter docter I can only see yellow spots**= =Docter: Have you seen a phsiciatres= =Patient: No only yellow spots=

{ Sorry don't know how to spell phsicaitres}
=Q;Why don't cannibuls like clowns= =a;= =**[ sORRY Again]**= <span style="font-family: Impact,Charcoal,sans-serif; font-size: 130%;">Alex What do you call Bob the Builder when he retires?

Bob

Lucy

A. A red bucket in disguise
By Connor

I wondered why the ball was getting closer. Then it HIT me.

Whats the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says spit out that gum while a train says chew chew!

Lucy :)

Knock Knock Whos there? Banana Banana who Banana split

Knock Knock Whos there? chest Chest who Chest-nuts for sale

What do you call a witch who is scared to go in the water? a chicken sand witch.

What do you call it when a ghost makes a mistake? A boo-boo

Annabel

A. No idea
===By Connor

===

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a shop attendant if she can buy the TV in the corner. The shop attendand looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the shop attendant said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a shop attendant would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different shop attendant this time. To her astonishment, this shop attendant also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the shop attendant, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The attendant looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!" By Grace

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!" To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

Lucy : )